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Mga Alaala ng Keso.

Starting over begins when you say to yourself that what’s finished is finished.

gabi ng mga freaking cheese! ng mga cheddar, mozarella, cream cheese, etc. pero bakit walang naglilitawang mga daga? tsk. nonsense.

Everytime I see him pass me by, I feel that my world is in slow motion and the only thing I can see moving is him and the only thing I can hear is my heart beat. But the worst part is, he never sees me like I see him and I’ve been dying to tell him how I feel.

gabi ng mga first love. ng mga pag-ibig na nabigo. ng mga pag-ibig na inakala nating yun na nga ngunit hindi pala. gabi ng pagbalik sa nakaraan. nakaraan na sa alaala lamang natin matatagpuan. ang gabi ng pag-alala sa mga keso.



mga natirang mensahe ni betterhalf sis Ives sa inbox ko. i feel like posting them here.

"iba talaga yung first love kasi, i admit ha, sis, napakacheesy ko pala nun. wahaha. kakatuwa. pero ang sarap ng feeling mainlove lalo na sa taong talagang love mo at ganun din sya sayo." - June 11 '09, 01:41am

"i have moved on na pero kinikilig pa din ako pag nagrereminisce ako. sarap lang balikan." - June 11 '09, 01:50am

"um, twice this week lang napanaginipan ko ex ko. sign? ngek. asa pa ko." - June 11 '09, 02:09am

"wala ka pang nahahanap na katulad nya? ako din! waa! okay lang, kesa naman mapilitan tayo magcommit sa guy na di naman talaga natin gusto o love." - June 11 '09, 02:11am

"titig na titig daw ako sa kanya sa panaginip ko. akala ko pa naman totoo na talaga magkasama kami, yung second dream ko, nakalimutan ko. basta sya yung nakita ko." - June 11 '09, 02:14am

"sana pag dumating na si mr.right nasa tamang time and place. woot!" - June 11 '09, 02:17am



katatapos lang mamaalam sakin ni Ives. matutulog na daw siya. meron pa kong isang katext kanina, mga keso din pinaguusapan namin. nauna lang siyang matulog. hay. bakit nga ba sa mga panahong 'to naalala ko ang aking first love?

ako: nagbukas ako ng friendster. napunta ko sa friends' list ko. nakita ko siya. kasama siya. masaya sila. masaya na din ako.
alter ego: don't be such a hypocrite! hindi ka masaya! oh c'mon! alam ko. admit it!
ako: fine. bitter ako! masaya ka na?! bitter ako na masaya na siya! bitter ako na masaya na sila! so what?!
alter ego: hahaha! loser! kasalanan mo yan! ikaw ang gumawa ng mga halimaw mo! bakit nga ba siya masaya sa kanya? kasi tinulak mo siya papalayo sayo. mahal na mahal ka nya dati, pero ano ginawa mo? naging doubtful ka sa pinapakita niya. matagal. napakatagal ka nyang tiniis sa ganyan mong ugali. nakipaghiwalay ka. pumayag siya kasi ayaw ka na niyang pilitin. pagod na siya sa kakaintindi sayo. ikaw? kinain mo yang walang kalasa lasa mong pride! mas pinili mo yan kesa sa pigilan siya! hindi ka lang loser, duwag ka pa! damn that cowardice! ano ka ngayon? nag-bibitter-bitteran!
ako: oo na! loser na ko! duwag na ko! tapos na eh. lumipas na ang tatlong taon. dapat ng kalimutan. wag mo ng ipaalala! bitter ako, oo. hindi dahil sa gusto ko pa siyang bumalik sakin. hindi ako ilusyunada! natanggap ko na yun sa paglipas ng mga taon. kaya lang naman ako bitter ay dahil masaya sila. ako hindi. at hindi ako masaya dahil pinili ko na naman na di maging masaya. masochist. that's what i am. ano?! masaya ka na?!
alter ego: pa'no ako magiging masaya kung malungkot ka? iisa lang tayo diba?




You know its love when you have been saying goodbye for the last half hour but you’re still not ready to leave.


naalala ko yung huling araw na naramdaman kong may tayo pa. ang pinakahuling araw. via Y! Messenger.

ako: wag mo na nga akong tawaging hai. hindi na katulad ng dati.
ikaw: ganun pa din hai. ikaw pa din ang hai ko. ikaw lang naman yun eh. at ako lang naman yun. tayo lang naman yun diba?

natatandaan mo pa ba nung simpleng magkaibigan pa lang tayo na sinasabi mo pa sakin yung mga sentiments and rants mo about your bestfriend slash instant loved one na si frezy? Sabi ko sa ‘yo, you don’t always get what you want but you’ll definitely get what you deserve. Nakakainis, ipapayo ko yun sa sarili ko. For the nth time. Pero di ba sasaya din ako? Hindi pala. Sasaya din ako! Hindi nga lang siguro sa iyo, pero I’ll get what I deserve. Hindi naman ako masamang tao kaya siguro may magandang naghihintay para sa akin. Sana sigurado. At yun na lang ang iisipin ko 'no?


naalala ko na naman ang kantang 'to. at kahit na marami pa ang magdaan, ikaw pa din ang babalikan. :)


"bakit ko ba pinabayaan? nawala lang nang di inaasahan. ngayon ako'y nanghihinayang. parang nasayang lang. nawala na. wala nang nagawa. kasi naman, tatanga-tanga pa ako noon. walang humpay na paghintay sa hindi dumarating na pagkakataon."


end of first part.




intro again.



There are just some heartaches in this world that I choose to endure. Once my heart has decided, I live to love that person without question, guilt and hesitation. Yes, even if every moment with him is bittersweet, he will remain my sweetest downfall.


the perfect quote. the bittersweet moments. my stress giver and reliever. Brittle Rock, he is my annoyance and yet he still remains to be my only happiness.


"naku! yung mga sinasabi mo parang close na close na talaga tayo ah. nakaka-ewan. tsk. i hope there's a better way to say this, but you don't mean anything to me. i just wish you know. insensitive ka lang ata eh. siguro nafeel mo na 'true friends' talaga tayo noon kasi halos araw-araw tayong magkatext. wag kang maniwala dun. it was just 'generic friendliness', one of my characters na ewan kung gugustuhin ko o hindi. pero yun lang yun. ganun din ako sa iba. kaya siguro kelangan kong maging harsh sayo minsan kasi naniniwala kang i'm giving you special attention. hindi ka ba nagtataka kung bakit tinetext kita sa old sim mo tuwing gabi lang? old sim kasi di ko sinesave new number mo. gabi kasi wala akong katext sa mga time na yun. pampalipas oras kumbaga habang di pa ako tulog. at yun lang talaga yun.wag ka ng mag-isip ng iba pang reasons. haay." - June 7 '09, 09:53am


*i expected the pain. i expected myself to feel hurt. pero wala. hindi masakit. i was truly amazed on how my heart responded to the statement. it's not the feeling of numbness. it's not the feeling of getting used to the usual pain. wala lang talaga. hindi masakit. i'm not worried. i didn't feel any uncertainty. wala lang. as in wala. and i really don't know why it felt that way. i feel light. happy. yeah, i was really smiling despite the bitter aftermath of those statements. at hanggang nagyon, hindi ko talaga alam kung bakit naging ganun. may sarili na yatang pag-iisip ang puso ko. o baka naman...



.. wala na lang talaga. wala na siyang epekto sakin.



"Dear 0905*******, ang kunwaring inaaway kita ang best way na naisip ko para di mo na ako masaktan. from all those things you've done to me, i should have cursed you to death, but God said i shouldn't so i didn't. we have said goodbyes countless of times before, but this one probably the last. goodbye ate misay. love, ayam." - June 3 '09, 03:31am


*and again, i felt nothing. again, i'm not being numb. it's just that, i didn't feel anything. even a bit of what i expected myself to feel. strange and unusual yet i feel very comfortable. siguro nga..


.. hindi na niya ko naapektuhan gaya ng epekto niya sakin dati.




Parang naiintindihan ko na.
O ito lang ang gusto kong isipin.
hindi mo kayang maging kung anong gusto kong maging ka sa buhay ko. so parang naiintindihan ko na nga. Hindi mo kasalanan. Hindi ko kasalanan. Walang may kasalanan. Lesson ‘to. Experience. I’m just glad I’m going through this with you.


i take away my so long kept and treasured pride for me to be able to keep you. so many childish fights we've been through and yet, we can't be what i want us to be. before, i keep telling myself that someday, you'll learn to be what i want you to be. and what it is that i want you to be in my life? i just want you to be my friend. i offered you my friendship, remember? but you refuse it. you didn't know how painful it is to pick up what you have slapped back to me. you didn't know how hard it is for me to stand up after all the things that you've said to me before. the bitter fact that i ate my pride for nothing is something that's really hard to bear. i was on the edge of giving up, but i didn't. and i said to myself, i will pursue what i've just started. alam ko kasi hindi ka masama. alam ko naman nakakaramdam ka. kahit awa lang. i tried and tried, but nothing's happened. i was the one being constantly hurt. and now, i finally came to realize that there's no anymore hope in trying. i already accepted the fact. hindi mo talaga ako gustong maging kaibigan. i'm now giving up. and i'm keeping my promise.


i said someday, didn't i?



that someday has come.


finally, i've given up all my false hopes. i will no longer bug you at night. i will be gone, forever. expect that. for it will now happen.




pinabasa ko na kay kr ito nung draft pa lang. sabi niya,

"hanggang kelan nga ba natin kayang umintindi at maghintay? hay.."

sabi ko,

"siguro, kapag naubusan ka na ng dahilan para umintindi at maghintay."


tama naman diba?


"There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment, you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are?
Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning, you choose to move forward or to simply give up."
-One Tree Hill



end of second part.







intro again for the last part.




"wish i could be the one. the one who could give you love. the kind of love you really need. wish i could say to you, that i'll always stay with you. but baby that's not me. you need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you. promise you forever, baby that's something i can't do. oh i could say that i'll be all you need, but that would be a lie. i know i'd only hurt you. i know i'd only make you cry. i'm not the one you needed. i love you, goodbye..

summer 2008. sa harap ni oble. nakilala ko sya. my significant other slash wonderwall slash yatot ni chubby cheeks.
ang asul na panyo na ewan ko kung bakit niya ibinigay sakin. ang pagiging stalker niya ng mahigit isang buwan na nagtatago sa pangalang 'lance'. the prince of my lost princess. still remember this? i'm missing you fran. i don't know how i stand a month not hearing a word from you. but i want this, right? i want us to be just like this. i ask for this. but why on earth i am feeling this way? i'm finding it hard to not notice the barrier i made between the two of us.

Things that i've been dying to do:
- magkape sa convergys every sunday afternoon after church.
- magulat sa text nya na nasa labas na sya ng bahay sa dis-oras ng gabi.
- asarin sya dahil sa kulot nyang buhok, payat nyang katawan, maliliit nyang kamay, haggard nyang mukha minsan, kaartehan nya sa pagkain na ayaw tumikim ng galing fastfood at mas gusto ang galing sa gagastusan nya ng sobra(e.g yellow cab, sbarro, burgoo, etc.), at sa pagiging vain nya na every other week pumupunta sa relaksasi at sobrang mas malandi pa kesa sakin.
- pumunta ng powerbooks sa bonifacio high street. at tumambay.

.. hindi ko na magawa ang mga bagay na yan ngayon. kasi.. wala ka na.. wala na akong kasama.. wala na akong aasarin.. wala na kong pupuntahan sa labas ng bahay sa madaling araw.. wala na ang significant other ko.

"In love, when break up comes and its time to say goodbye, don’t doubt the love just because it didn’t last. May mga bagay sa buhay na di man nagtatagal, it doesn’t mean na di na totoo. Some good things are just never meant to last forever. Okay lang un. Bless the parting and move on. Expect the tears, sorrows, sleepless nights and pain. Ika nga, it’s when you were hurt the worst that you love most. Kung di ka willing masaktan, wag ka na lang magmahal."

"i hope someday you can find some way to understand. i'm only doing this for you. i don't really wanna go. but deep in my heart i know, this is the kindlest thing to do. you'll need someone who'll be the one that i could never be. who'll give you something back than the love you find with me. oh i could say that i'll be all you need but that would be a crime. i know i'd only hurt you. i know i'd only make you cry. i'm not the one you needed. i love you, goodbye."

i'm still keeping this email of yours for me.
---
Hello, Chubby Cheeks. I know this is surprise for you, since we've both been silent for so long. I still love you. That never changed. Mula nang i-admit ko sa sarili ko na mahal kita, hindi nagbago yon. Ang nagbago lang ngayon ay yung faith ko sa relasyon natin. Masakit na ma-realize yun, na aminin yun. Pero yun ang totoo, vhie. There are moments when I ask myself if you love me because you really love me or if you love me just because i love you. Sometimes I wonder if you would have loved me if things were different, if you didn't find out how I felt. Natatakot akong baka nakita ko lang ang gusto kong makita, dahil mahal nga kita. I admit that I'm insecure, vhie, because it was so easy for you to agree na mag-step out muna ako sa buhay mo.
Do you still believe in us, lhorvie? As much as I'd like to say na sigurado pa rin ako sa relasyon natin, I can't lie to myself anymore. I don't want to lose you, but I'm not really sure if what we have is still worth holding on to. I don't even know if you still need me to stay. kailangan mo pa ba ko?
Please be honest. Hindi ko ito isusulat kung hindi ako prepared sa puwede kong malaman. kung maghihiwalay man tayo, I want it to be for the right reasons, not because you don't think you deserve me anymore. I'll be the judge of that. If you stay, do it because you think we're worth fighting for, worth holding on to. Don't stay just because you promised, just because you don't want to hurt me. Kung yun yung reasons mo, mararamdaman ko rin yun, at mas masasaktan mo lang ako. A goodbye will hurt, but not as much as an I love you that can't be proven. I would rather have a broken heart than live a lie. It would be utterly unfair to both of us, chubby cheeks. love, yatot.

---

sorry yatot. sorry for not being me. sorry for all the pain i've inflicted on you. sorry for making you feel stupid always. sorry for not loving you the way you love me. sorry sa pagiging unfair. sorry kasi pinaasa kita sa loob ng isang buong taon. i've been telling you this thousands of times before and i wouldn't get tired apologizing if this is the only way i can do to ease up all the hurt that i've brought you. i know this isn't enough but this is the only thing i know. ito lang yung kaya kong ibigay. sabi mo hindi mo kailangan nito, but i insist on saying this anyway for i've been gulity for making you feel worthless.

nasabi ko na 'to dati at uulitin ko na naman, mahal naman kita eh. mahal kita na gaya ng pagmamahal ko sa sarili ko. i've given you the privilege to be my other half, remember? kaya mahal kita. nasanay na kong nandyan ka at hindi ko talaga alam kung ano pa ako kung wala ka na. mahal kita. mahal kita hindi dahil nangako ako na mamahalin kita pero mahal kita kasi natutunan na kitang mahalin.

but despite all that, why can't you accept that kind of love i'm offering you? that is the highest level of love that i knew. bakit ang gusto mo pang hingin ay yung romantic love? fran, etong meron satin, iba 'to. kakaiba 'to. what you're asking from me is something i can't give you. i tried, you know i did. but it doesn't work. i still can't. ano pa bang gusto mo?

leaving someone, when you love someone, is the hardest thing to do. when you love someone as much as i love you. no, i don't wanna leave you. baby it tears me up inside. but i'll never be the one you needed. i love you, goodbye.

May 13, 2009. it's been a year of knowing you. isang taon na din mula nung araw na nagkaroon ng tayo. akala ko magpapadala ka ng mensaheng katulad nito,

"9th month na sana natin. at hanggang ngayon, ikaw pa din talaga. wala pa din akong makita dahil ikaw lang ang nakikita ng puso ko. you already knew that i will forever be your prince. at ngayon, i will not only be your nathan(love interest of hayley in One Tree Hill) but your lucas(best friend of hayley in One Tree Hill) too. i can be your defender, lover, and best friend too. FOREVER. mahal na mahal kita. sana totoo na lang na gusto mo akong maging si nathan ng buhay mo. i'll be sleeping now, and will still love you when i woke up. good night chubby cheeks." - February 13, '09, 01:02am

but this is what you sent on me instead,

Chubby Cheeks, I still love you. You may doubt everything else I've told you, but not that. But you know something, lhorv? I learned that sometimes, even love isn't enough anymore. That's why I'm doing this, that's why I'm letting go. I would rather leave now, while I can still remember how you made me laugh, how you held my hand, how you called me "yatot". I want to keep the memories of the wonderful times we had. Ayokong hintayin na dumami ang regrets bago pa ako sumuko.
You're prince will miss you my dear princess. But I have to accept that I'm no longer the one you want fell in love with. A lot of things have changed, a lot of mistakes have been made. I guess that's just life. I've prayed na sana hindi umabot sa ganito, but deep inside, alam kong dito na tayo matatapos. You don't know me anymore. And I don't think you have the time to get to know me again. Maybe it's not worth it anymore. I'm sorry, Lhorvie. For not being who you expected me to be. For a lot of things, but never for loving you. until then, Yatot.


* i didn't expected that to happen that very day but i expected that to come. but it did happen that day and we can't redo it again to revise the setting. i'm proud of you that you've gained enough courage to say those things i've been wanting to hear from you. finally, naging ikaw na yung dating fran bago pa ako dumating sa buhay mo. masakit. mamimiss kita. pero kung ito yung paraan para maging tunay na masaya ka na, hahayaan na kita. pinasaya mo na ko ng sobra pa sa nararapat para sakin. minsan siguro, okay lang na masaktan. miss na kita fran. miss na miss na kita aking kaibigan. ang aking forever confidante.

"baby, its never gonna work out. i love you, goodbye."


minsan tinanong mo ko kung ano ba ang theme song natin, sabi ko, "ewan ko sayo. ikaw na mag-isip." ang sabi mo, "ah. alam ko na, i love you, goodbye."


now i know why. the song is about how you feel for me, and how i feel for you. now.




end of entry.



I’d like to laugh and let things dissolve /♥
Because across the countless days, someone's waiting.

Mga Kwentong Bata ni Lhorvie

ito na marahil ang huling survey na sasagutan sa mahabang survey series ng blog na to. promise ititigil ko na talaga ang pagsagot sa mga survey.

PRE-SCHOOL :
1. Ano ang sinasabi mo noong bata ka pa na gusto mong maging paglaki mo?
nag-eevolve yan eh. una, scientist then doctor then lawyer.

2. Ano ang isang bagay na na-enjoy mong gawin noon?
mag-science experiment. mag-memorize ng countries of the world. tsaka mag-coloring book.

3. Bakit?
parang sobrang nakaka-stimulate mapag-aralan kasi. parang nakikita mo yung tinuturo sayo na totoo palang may ganon.

4. Anong age ka pumasok sa school?
uh, 6 yata. that's when i was in kinder.

5. Sinong 'buddy' mo noon?
si kk yata name nya. basta, super buddy kami like in recess talagang sabay kami at share ng foods.

6. Anong pangyayayari ang hindi mo makalimutan?
yung hinatid kami ng pinsan ko ng mga nanay namin sa daycare na malakas ang ulan. tapos knee-deep yung tubig pero may pasok daw kami. pinagpasapasahan kami ng mga tambay para mailagay sa pintuan ng day care.

7. Kilala mo pa mga teachers mo?
yung sa kinder na, ang alam ko si teacher Ricky. siya lang talaga natatandaan ko.

8. Iyakin ka ba noon?
once lang ako umiyak, nung isang araw na ayoko talaga pumasok tapos pinapasok pa rin ako ng mommy ko. umiyak ako sa gate kasi ayoko talagang pumasok, gusto ko pa matulog.

GRADESCHOOL :

9. Anong bag gamit mo noon?
madami, pero usually may cartoon character. may pink akong stroller na may rabbit sa harapan tapos with matching lunchbox. may bag ako na robby rabbit at kerokeroppi. pinaka di ko malilimutan, yung backpack ko na mojari ata, yung kapatid ni mojacko. ang cute niya eh.

10. Sinong principal nyo noon?
si Madame Imelda Mariano. ewan ko lang kung pano sila naging chika friends ng nanay ko.

11. Anong mga sections mo noon?
grade 1, matulungin. grade 2, apple. grade 3, narra. grade 4, honesty. grade 5, rizal. then grade 6, diamond.

12. May club ka bang sinalihan?
oo naman. literary club, glee club, homemakers club, math-sci club.. ayun.

13. Maingay ka ba sa klase?
as in habang nagkaklase? hinde. nung kinder yun, muntik na akong malagyan ng star sa bibig kasi ang daldal ko daw. kasalanan bang maging friendly?

14. May kinakatakutan ka bang teacher noon?
yep. si mam renos, nung grade 6 kasi ang obvious ng pagka-dislike niya sakin. so, i dislike her too. buti na lang lagi siyang binabara ni ephraim sa math calculations niya sa board. nagmamagaling kasi.

15. Bakit?
ugh, she's so irritating! durr!

16. Pano ka pumupunta sa school?
school service. kahit walking distance lang sa bahay namin ang school.

17. Marunong ka na bang mag-commute ng panahong ito?
uh, kung sa trike, yeah medyo marunong na. pero jeepneys, nah. di din ako marunong tumawid.

18. Paano ka mag-aral?
busy sila mama and papa so dati pa sariling sikap na talaga. learning how to read really helps me a lot. basa lang talaga ng basa. buti na lang pinagkalooban ako ng long term memory.

19. Mahilig ka bang kumain ng tusok-tusok?
wala akong idea kung ano yung tusok tusok. forgive my ignorance.

20. Responsible ka bang estudyante?
i must say that i'm not. but still, i had good grades then. super laid back talaga and may constant laziness talaga ako. as in, i really need to have a will just to do a certain thing. and that continues til now.

HIGHSCHOOL:
21. Saan ka nag-high school?
New Era High Scool. Garden of Life School. Sto. Domingo Academy.

22. Anu mga section mo?
1st year, masigasig. 2nd year, everlasting. 3rd year, corinthians. 4th year, gold.

23. May-CAT ba kayo noon?
oo pero di nagtagal dahil nag-resign ang head commandant/instructor.

24. Naging class officer ka ba?
yeah. nung second year and third year, vp ako ng section. haha. wala lang. taga-patahimik at taga-secretly sulat ng mga demerits.

25. Kumakain ka ba habang nasa klase?
yep. nung third year. mostly puro chocolates lang or yung milky knots. para lang di antukin.

26. Tamad ka bang pumasok?
hinde ah. pag talagang may sakit lang ako tska lang ako nag-aabsent. minsan pag may exam, nagkakasakit ako. minsan din nakaschedule akong magkasakit. ganun lang.

27. Sinong principal nyo noon?
no comment. di ko inaalam.

28. Kilala ka ba nya? Ano tawag nya sa'yo?
di niya ko kilala dahil di ko din siya kilala.

29. Paano?
err.

30. May award ka bang natanggap non? anu-ano?
yep. mostly for campus journalism, quiz bees, essay writings. yun lang.

COLLEGE:

31. School mo?
New Era University

33. Meron ka bang na-uno na subjects? Ano-ano?
yep. NSTP-LTS. thanks mam!

34. Meron ka bang org na sinalihan?
yep.

35. Ano?
WTC, Writers and Toastmasters Club.

36. Naniniwala ka ba na pag college ka na, matatagpuan mo ang true love mo at hindi sa highschool?
walang tamang panahon sa tamang pag-ibig. ano? pero naniniwala ako. nasa maturity yan e.

37. Embarassing moment?
nung umiiyak ako sa tapat ng room 302 kahit na pinapatahan na ko nila jannina, gerlyn, ces at trina. at pinagtitinginan ako ng mga seniors namin sa masscomm lalo na ni kuya paolo at kuya duvan na dumaan pa sa harapan ko at napatigil sa pagtataka.

38. Unforgettable moment?
nung audition for casting sa musical play namin for our course requirement. palapit na ng palapit yung turn ko ng biglang nagsipasok yung mga senior namin sa masscomm na crush ko din na sila kuya pao at kuya duvan na talagang gawd! nakangiti pa sakin habang mukha akong tanga na kumakanta ng song na may mataas na pitch. damn!

39. Pano gumalaw ang mga tao sa eskwelahan mo?
limited. may rules eh. and i hate it.

40. Sosyal ka ba?
hindi. siguro feeling ng iba. nasanay lang kasi halos lahat ng batchmates ko englishera.

Survey 101 : Old Surveys from the Good Old Days.. :)

PICK 8 GUYS IF YOU'RE A GIRL AND GIRLS IF YOU'RE A GUY.
1. Close friend?
Noel Bolalin
2. Caring?
Francis Ocampo
3. Braces?
Jeffrey Cheang
4. Seen lately?
Kuya Rob
5. Weird?
JonJon Velasquez
6. Tall?
Karl B.
7. Hiphop?
Enzo
8. You miss?
Mr. Brittle Rock

Would you ever date number 2?
- hahaha. a fit in question. sure, i'd love to.
Are you close to number 7?
- na-ah. i am just his listener.
Have you ever liked number 6?
- i used to like him before.
Describe number 8 in one word.
- assuming.
Will you ever marry number 4?
- err. we're not into it. we're more like siblings. and we want it that way. r kuya?
Has number 3 eaten in front of you?
- yeah. that was a graham cake slice. we were at paola's place then.
What would you do if number 1 confessed their love for you?
- i'll surely ran out of words. again. as what i did before.

What about if number 5 confessed their love for you?
- i'd laugh harder, die quicker.
What do you think is the funniest thing about number 6?
- his personal dislike of his second name. jerome. :)
Would you cry if 7 died?
- hahahahaha. i really don't know.
Who would you say is your best friend out of 1-8?
- noel bolalin. definitely.
Who would you say is the smartest/nerdiest?
- kuya rob. no questions asked. matalino talaga ang politicist.
Would you kiss number 6 for 50 bucks?
-50 dollars? lakihan mo naman ng konti. :p
Would you tell a secret to number 3?
- nah. i don't want to.
Would you ever trust number 1 with your life?
- yes, of course. he once saved my life, kaya i trust on him talaga.
If any of them sweet talked you, who would you believe the most?
- fran? he proved me many times that he's the most sincere of all.
Have you ever gone out with number 4?
- oo naman! brotherly/sisterly date. kuya ko yan eh!
Ever been on a date with 7?
-no.
How did you meet number 8?
- we haven't met in person yet. but, uh, we met in rtc.
If there was one thing you'd like number 1 to do what is it?
- you already know what it is that i want you to do, right best?
Name one memory with number 4?
- that day on powerplant mall.
Has number 3 ever embarrassed you?
- subukan lang nya. hmp.
If number 6 was in a burning building with your dad who would you save first?
- my dad. he wouldn't blame me for that, i guess.
When did you last see 1?
- last march.
Do you miss any of them?
- yeah. the last one.
Who do you chill with the most?
- either 1 or 5.
If you had to choose between everyone to be your date to prom who would it be?
- si yatot dahil gusto kong apakan yung paa niya ng stilletos ko sa prom.
Who's the most athletic?
- karl syempre. he's into soccer.
If you HAD to pick one to marry, which one will you choose?
- ...?
======================================================

1.Would you chew gum after someone else already has?
- same gum? nope.
2. What song describes your relationship status?
- If It Kills Me by Jason Mraz
3. How much does your dog weigh?
- dunno. wte.
4.Are you a heart breaker, or the broken hearted?
- usually, the broken-hearted. it's more fun to be emo than be called a slut, right?
5. Who was the last text message in your phone from?
- alora. asking me some stuffs about how is it being a freshie.
6. Earrings or necklace?
- earrings.
7. Who have you talked to most today?
- my mom.
9. Where were you yesterday morning at 10:30?
- bed. sleeping.
10. Color of your shirt?
- pink.
11. What do you miss most about childhood?
- cheeze curls.
12. Who’s first on your friends list in Multiply?
- ac. not sure.
13. What color is your background on your computer mainscreen?
- mostly black, it's a harry potter background.
14. Do you wish on 11:11?
- i really don't know what's with 11:11.
15. Last book you read??
- the celestine prophecy (na di ko pa natatapos dahil sa constant laziness)
16. Are you a BAD influence?
- there are times, but i'm trying to be good now.. :)
18. Would you rather have your name or your siblings' name?
- i'm contented with my name.
19. Would you do anything for someone?
- it depends on how important that someone is to me.
20. Have you ever been called a bitch?
- yeah. by my brother. you know, teasing stuffs.
21. Favorite color?
- white and pink.
22. Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
- sometimes, but not excessively..
23. What song is on?
- Your Call by Secondhand Serenade
24. Are your grades good?
- yup.. ok naman ako sa grades ko last year.. :)
26. Would you date anyone on your friends list?
- my multiply friends list? oo naman, basta sila yung magyayaya, di ako.
27. Is there someone you want to punch right now?
- not really, pero kung ok lang sa kanya.. e di oo. haha. namimiss ko na rin kasi siyang suntukin eh. nyahahaha walang kwenta.
28. Who’s that lucky person?
- si ano.. haha basta. alam naman ata ng lahat ng tao kung sino yun eh.
29. Whose page did you visit last?
- the Robilievers site.
30. Are you a good talker or good listener?
- ok lang. i'm not that much of a good talker kasi madalas nabubulol ako or kung super excited ako sa ikukwento ko, nawawala ako. kaya lang, minsan din, when what i'm listening to is quite boring, i tend to go deaf.
31. Are you afraid of ghosts?
- nah. i want ghosts. :)
32. Have you ever seen or enjoyed watching the O.C.?
- i haven't watched a single episode of such show.
33. Do you have one or more Britney Spears C.D.s?
- i have one britney spears cassette tape, the first one with hit me baby one more time.
34. Which radio stations are your favorites?
- Monster Radio RX 93.10
35. Are you an FOB fanatic?
-i used to be one, until i got tired of buying cds (i don't download music from the net coz it's too risky, and we can't afford to destroy the computer). still, i really like fob. who doesn't?
36. Still have pictures of your ex?
- yeah, 3 pictures of yatot. he gave me those and i wanna keep it.
37. Are you a good liar?
- most of the time. but sometimes, my conscience just can't bear it.
38. Are you a Muliply addict?
-i must say, yes. my world freezes when i go online on multiply.
39. Do you watch Wowowee?
- kanikanina lang, coz i was too lazy too change the channel.
40. What word in the dictionary best describes you?
- numb?
41. Do you read trashy romance novels often?
- nah. not that often. pag wala na talagang stuffs na pwede basahin then go. just to kill boredom.
43. Do you think someone hates you right now?
- some people do, and i can't dictate their feelings, right? all i can do is prove to them that i am not a good person to hate because i bite. rar!
44. Do you sing obnoxiously in the shower when no one’s home?
- even when there are people home. ganun kakapal mukha ko. i don't even mind if the neighbors hear me.
45. How many pairs of shoes do you have?
- those that i use regularly? about 6, i think.
46. Have you ever pretended your crush was with you when they weren’t?
- how is this possible? i cannot understand the question.
47. Did you draw pictures for your first crush back in elementary school?
- of or for? uh, no. that's... scary.
48. Have you ever liked a boy but didn’t ask him out because you were afraid?
-why would i ask a boy out??
49. Have you ever written a poem or story about your life?
- i do poems once in a while, when i feel so stressed out yet creative still.
50. Have you ever spent over an hour thinking about nothing but a certain person?
- more than, even. i find it hard to concentrate on studying when i'm.. wallowing over someone. hahaha.
51. Have you ever liked someone exclusively because of their appearance?
- uh yeah. those things last for at most 5 minutes.
52. Do you eat all the servings in the food groups on a daily basis?
- nah. and don't care anyway. not a health conscious.
53. Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization?
- not really but i sort of lose my sanity when my things get so disorganized that i can start from arranging my file case then my bag then my room without planning to do so.
54. Have you ever been to South America or Africa?
- nooooooo.
55. Do you know how to knit?
- i can start, but i can never finish anything. the first and only time that i asked my mom to do my project for me was when we had to knit something.
56. Do you have a cell phone or iPod with a patterned cover?
- no. it'll most likely get destroyed in my bag anyway.
57. Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself and put them in a song?
-i have written but i am not musically talented.
58. Do you keep a diary or journal online?
- i have a diary and this online haven of mine.
59. When you open your closet, what is the color?
-of what? my closet? it's brown. the clothes? many many colors, dude.
60. Do you care about who wins the election?
- i really don't give too much sh*t about it.
61. Physics or chemistry?
- chemistry. i enjoy things that change colors over things with imaginary arrows pointing downward, labeled mg.
62. State you most want to visit?
- in the US? new york, new york. oh, that's a city, right? nyahaha. washington, 'cause that's where forks is.
63. Pink or teal?
- PINK!
64. Who was the most popular person in your 4th year class?
- gladys faith cause she's the vale.
65. Commitment or casual dating?
- casual dating first. commitment is for long time sweethearts.. DID I JUST SAY THE WORD SWEETHEARTS?? ewwww.
66. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars?
- haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy poteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr!
67. Fly or road trip?
- road trip. di pa ako nakakasakay ng plane everrr.
68. What is your favorite Disney movie?
- before, it's the lizzie mcguire's movie. but lately, camp rock! whoa! love it!
69. Were you bored or entertained by this survey ?
- a little of both. i like answering surveys in general.
======================================================
1.)Anong song ang pinapatugtog mo ngayon?
== Let me fall by Hayley James Scott, OTH OST
2 . ) San ka galing kahapon?
== none. bahay lang.
3.) Sinong huli mong nakausap sa phone?
== kuya rob.
4.) Anong iniisip mo ngayon?
== kung kailangan ko ba ulit baguhin yung mga nakasulat sa past v.s. present survey.. after many modifications, di pa rin ako kontento sa nilalaman niya.
5.) Happy ka ba ngayon?
== yup. kakainom ko lang ng dutchmill.
6.) Kamusta naman ang life mo?
== boredom pero masaya na medyo malungkot na masaya pa din.
7 .) Mabilis ka bang magsawa?
== actually oo. pero depende rin naman sa level ng pagkagusto ko sa isang bagay.
8 . ) Gusto mo bang makipag telebabad sa telephone?
== hahaha. oo naman, lalo na pag.... okay, tama na.
9. ) Sinu ksama mo ngayon?
== si electric fan, si cp at pc, si aging.
10. ) Pagod ka ba ngayon?
== hindi naman nakakapagod ang pagproprocrastinate.
11. ) Saan ka pupunta ngayon?
== wala naman. weekend. so bahay lang.
12. ) Umiyak ka ba kanina?
== hindi. walang dahilan.
13. ) Mahilig ka ba sa surprises?
== depende kung maganda yung surprise.
14 .) Anong gusto mong gawin ngayon?
== pumunta ng sunken at magpakabasa sa ulan.
15.) San mo gustong pumunta?
== sa sunken garden.
16.) Umiinom ka ba ng mga alcoholic drinks?
== dalawang beses pa lang ako umiinom ng beer, at simula nang matuto akong uminom, 3 bote pa lang ng red wine ang naiinom ko. alam kong 3 bote kasi pag may wine dito sa bahay, ako lang ang umiinom.
17 .) Anong mas gusto mo...makulit o pasaway?
== makulit. sakit sa ulo ang pasaway..
18. ) eh malambing o mataray?
== malambing na mataray. may ganun naman ah.. AKO!
19.) Anong fave mong drink?
== dutchmill. chuckie. iced tea.
20 .) Adik ka ba sa siopao?
== nah. sa siomai, OO!
21.) Anong feeling mo pag may kausap ka sa phone?
== depende sa kausap ko sa phone. may kinikilig, may sinasabaw, may naiinis.. ganun. pag kinikilig, usually tuliro.
22. ) Anong kanta ang nasa isip mo ngaung buong araw?
== Kung wala ka by Hale
24.) Anong feeling mo ngayong oras na 'to?
== ewan. gusto ko lang matulog nang managinip. ay, gusto ko pala makita si lee min ho!
25 .) Ano ang huling natanggap mong remembrance?
== stationaries and bracelet from kat.
26 .) Anong ginagawa mo ngayon?
== nagttype.
27 .) Kumain ka na ba ng dinner?
== hindi pa. maaga pa para dun.
28.) Anong huli mong napanuod na movie?
== twilight
29 .) Bakit kelangan masaktan tuwing magmamahal ?
== dahil dapat mong malaman na hindi kayo ang para sa isa't isa. pag siya na talaga, kahit masaktan ka, masaya ka pag nasaktan ka, hindi yung masakit na masakit talaga.. tska di "WE NEVER KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITHOUT THE PAIN?"
30 .) Anong iniisip mo ngayon?
== ulan. sana umulan ulit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1.Does anyone know your password to your friendster beside yourself?
- yep. si fran.
2. What was the last thing you ordered at McDonalds?
- a fudge sundae, that extra large sized fries. coke.
3. Are you an emotional person?
- a lot.. i'm actually quite sensitive but i try my best to hide it. i act tough a lot.
4. Do you like your name?
- yes. dati ayaw ko, but some people really like it daw, so i like it na rin. it's one way of loving yourself.
5. Do you believe in love at first sight?
- nope.
6. Ever felt jealous of your friend?
- super minsan lang. as in.
7. What was the last thing you did?
- eat brunch.
8. Who is right next to you?
- si electric fan. say hi!
9. Who were the last persons you ate with?
- si mama. over dinner last night.
10. What song are you listening to right now?
- The Show by Lenka
11. Hows the weather right now?
- umulan kanina ng malakas. ngayon wala na.
12. Last person who called you today?
- ang makulit kong pinsan. tinatanong kung bakit yun daw ang prim pic ko sa friendster.
13.Last time you were sad?
- the other day, i think.
14. Last song you sang?
- I Love You, Goodbye by Nina
15. Do you like anyone?
- yup yup.
16. Lost a friendship over something stupid?
- no. i lose friendships--more like force them out of my life--over something somebody stupid does. it convinces me that being friends with that person is not really worth all the shit.
17. Last person you talked to?
- my dear brother.
18. Last food you ate?
- my lunch.
19. What did you do last night?
- blog hopping.
20. Faked being sick to miss school?
- oh yeah baby, i'm the master of headaches and stomach cramps.
21. What time did you wake up today?
- past 1pm. my usual waking time.
22. Last person you talked to?
- didn't i just answer this question?
23. Last person you made fun of?
- my dear sister. haha.
24. What are you wearing right now?
- a white jogging pants.
25. Are you too quiet to ask anyone out?
- i don't ask people out.
26. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite/same sex?
- the face and the attitude.
27.Where are you right now?
- i'm at home, i'm wearing jogging pants, for crying out loud!
28. What date and day is it?
- June 6, 2009 ; saturday
29. Did you go anywhere today?
- nah.
30. What did you do there?
- err.
31. Where else are you going today?
- to my bed to have some good sleep.
32. Are you watching TV?
- nah. walang magandang programa.
33. Are you mature or immature?
- a little of both.. but i try to be mature without realizing i'm being immature about it.
34. Are you closer to your mom or dad?
- my mommy... but just a little more than my closeness to my dad.. i'm not spoiled.
35. When was your last kiss?
- this isn't a romantic one right? but if it is non-family, i really don't remember.
36. What school do you go to?
- New Era University
37. What's the most annoying thing people say to you?
- when they say nothing at all but you're waiting for them to say something. it hurts to be ignored when you know you don't deserve to be treated like that.
38. Do you like music?
- yes, i do.
39. Do you want to get married?
- someday, yes.
40. to whom?
- oh, you know, someone who will do this and that, wash the dishes, cheesy. ugh.

==============================================

It's your last day on Earth, who do you spend it with?
= my family.

Your phone rings at 4:56 am...who is it? who do you want it to be?
= there are only two possible persons.. i want it to be either of them.

Is reality better than the dream for you?
= no comment.

Do you stick to the greener side of the grass?
= not really. i try to experience both sides of the lawn at all times.

The last person you recieved a text from...rate their looks 1-10.
= 8

Do you wanna tell us who it was?
= yes. you didn't ask who, just if i want to tell ya.

Stapler or tape?
= stapler

Would you ever join the circus?
= what good will i be to the circus?

Who is your best friend?
= noel bolalin.

You're dreaming of someone...who is it?
= oh yeah, isn't it too obvious? gash.

Cats, dogs or hamsters?
= dogs. i like them so.

Honestly, how many surveys have you taken today?
= about 6, i guess.

Has anyone ever called you handsome?
= WHY?!

How do you feel about burritos? Where is your favorite place to get them?
= haven't tried one. i like shawarma, does that count? khaleb shawarma, that place with the girl and boy shawarma mascots? oh yeah. lovelovelove it.

Do you despise people who TYP3 LiiK3 THis?
= not despise, but yeah, i'm pretty irritated with them. why do you have to exert so much effort, seriously?

Do you like cookies?
= yumyum..!

If you could take a picture with one famous person who would it be?
= johnny depp. gawd!

What would the world be like if everyone were born after this second
= overpopulated

Had bellybutton?
= this question makes no sense.

Do you believe in magic?
= [cue song] got to believe in magic.. tell me how two people find each other in a world that's full of strangers..

Do you wear socks...everyday?
= when i wear sneakers, i wear socks.
When was the last time you showered?
= a while ago. after having my lunch.

Would you like to drive a motorcycle?
= nah. kinda scary. i'm prone to accidents and i don't need one now.

What's your favorite sport?
= badminton!!!!!!!

Do you like anyone from the opposite sex right now?
= yup, like i have to elaborate.

What about the same sex?
= i like my friends.. we won't be friends if we hated each other, right?

What about of another species?
= okay.. what's wrong with you, exactly?

Silver or gold?
= silvurrr.

Friends or Everybody Loves Raymond?
- i really don't know. i really... don't know. one tree hill, anyone?

Do you like eggs?
- I LOVE EGGS!!! I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, REALLY REALLY LOVE YOU SO! EGGS I REALLY LOVE YOU LIKE THE SKY ABOVE!!! EGGS ARE THE BEST!!

How's life?
- oh, you know. ups here, down there, side to side, and tango. okay, what?

If you could ask your crush anything what would it be?

- past: do you miss me? coz i sure miss you. <-------- cheese alert!! cheese alert!! -present: are you gay? no, seriously.. are you? just tell me and i'll be your friend, even if that's as far as i can go.. <-------- emo alert!! emo alert!!

nag-iwan ka ng black hole.. and black holes SUCK.

napatunganga nung bigla kitang nakita pagkalipas ng mahabang panahon. high school pa tayo nung muli kang makilala, at tandang tanda ko pa, noon pa ma'y sobrang lupit mo na.
lagi naman kitang nakakasama, ewan ko kung bakit ba wala akong nagagawa. di ko lang alam kung pano, basta biglang nagkasama tayo. di nagtagal ay napa-ibig mo ako. kahit na napakadali mong kausapin, ewan ko ba kung bakit kay hirap pa ring aminin. mula umaga hanggang uwian natin, madalas ay magkasama tayong dalawa. madalas naman tayong naglolokohan,
dinadaan ko lang sa biro ang tunay kong nararamdaman.
kaya siguro hindi mo sineryoso ang aking mga sinabi, yan tuloy, walang nangyari. parang kahapon lang nangyari sakin ang lahat. parang isang dulang medyo romantiko ang banat. ngunit nung napag-usapan, bigla na lang nagkahiyaan. mula noon, hindi na tayo nagpansinan.
sayang.
bakit ko ba pinabayaan? nawala lang nang di inaasahan. ngayon ako'y nanghihinayang. parang nasayang lang. nawala na. wala nang nagawa. kasi naman, tatanga-tanga pa ako noon. walang humpay na paghintay sa hindi dumarating na pagkakataon.
panay ang plano, ngunit panay ang urong, at inabot na ng dulo ng taon. ngunit hanggang huli, wala akong nasabi.
napatungaga nung bigla kitang nakita, pGkalipas ng mahabang panahon. kakalipas lang ng isang sem, muling nakita kita, at wala kang kasama. sobrang alam ko na ang aking sasabihin.
eksakto na ang timing. planado na ang sasabihin. pero nakita ko ang iyong mga kamay, ang dibdib ko ay sumikip. ang paglunok ko ay naipit. aking napatunayan na nasa huli ang pagsisisi. para bang gusto kong umiyak ngunit para saan pa?
wala namang magagawa.

i'll be missing you.

i found this line in my old online journal. and something else along the lines of

" I was drowning and you saved me. "

well, to be really frank and honest, he really did save me. loads of times. maybe that's the reason i call him my Significant Other. he's an angel. to me. in some weird way. that others will never understand. even he won't understand. i guess. again.
i think i owe him my life. sort of.
he kept me alive during those dark days when i had nothing to my name.
at first, i just didn't think he was worth it. that was my miracle, i guess. he made me stop. unintentionally. unknowingly. un-whatever else-ly.
i thought it was hopeless until he came around and turned the frown on my face upside down.
i'll be missing that. how he always made me smile. even when i didn't want to. the corners of my mouth will still lift themselves up for him.
okay, this is bad. i'm afraid the void has been filled again. and this time, the matter it got was the right one.
crap. i miss yatot. :(

Last message for Hai.

so many memories have i lost to constantly trying to forget about you for more than a year and a half, but i guess that particular memory will always remain.
i don't care anymore if i was right about you or not. i don't want to think anymore about how much you hate me right now.
i'm just keeping my promise. i said someday, didn't i?

that someday has come.
finally, i will no longer go looking for you all the time. i will leave you alone now to your own little world, and i will keep to mine.
this is the last time i will cry for you.
for what happened.
for what i felt.
for what i think you felt.
for the raindrops.
a resolution.
i won't disturb you anymore.
if we meet again by chance, i will still smile at you. and you can expect that behind that smile is that wednesday morning remembered.
stay out of the rain.
don't catch a cold.
take care, hai.

thanks to the moon's gravitational pull, there is the slightest possibility that i could stop myself from falling for you again.

because only you and you alone can break my fall.


Sometimes, you just have to put a period on something that has to end, and not just settle on a comma.

Why?

Because time will come, you'll realize that it's so much nicer to see a complete sentence,

rather than seeing a phrase that's completely hanging and doesn't even make sense.